TOBA

I: BATAK VILLAGE

The long houses with their leaf-thatched roofs and horns,
up-ended boats sailed out of myths to this place.
Eyes peered through chinks, bushes, unceasingly.
The girl that followed us everywhere picked up a stone.

We wanted to escape from the rain, the foot-sucking mud,
from your father who could only threaten at your silence.
Deep in the forest the horse man in his white coat waited.
I was always the better negotiator. What good did it do;

you galloped off, clinging tight to the mane,
skimming past abysses, giving your spirit free rein.
I came lamely after and knew: this was meant to be.
You cast the first glance at the lake. Lost everything.










II: THE ISLAND

Beside the bed the sweaty reins. You snarled.
Still in the twilight we travelled to Samosir.
I hid - from the rain, the cold. From you.
Only in the last village did we catch up with your parents,

staring at the stone table of a place of sacrifice.
Scratches. Embankments of impenetrable bamboo.
Blood-red painted panels. And right now,
pc-virus on virus. You still want me on my knees.

That same night I raised the machete, swished around
you all I could; I was alone and far from home.
What grew through your heart, tumbled in your head?
The lake too deep for the sun. You for me.










III: PARTY EVENING

In the distance light came from a crater
For an instant the sky turned sulphur-green,
more than was Samosir was then reflected in the lake,
after which all was as dark as before.

The drunken planter laughed with his toothless mouth
when I asked about former times, where he found love,
and pressed my hand in your lap. I was dreaming,
but still can feel how everything rose in us.

‘Thus, without seeing it, is each and every one of you.
What is the sense of all your travelling?’ he said,
continuing with what could never be my answer.
Was that why I later probed your oldest wound?















Publisher: In de Knipscheer, December 2003.
Book: € 15,00, cd (music by Dirk Stromberg): € 18,00. Set book + cd: € 29,50.
Postbox 6107, 2011 HC Haarlem, The Netherlands.



www.alberthagenaars.nl
www.indeknipscheer.nl